On Tusday Nov. 23, first I gatherd all of my hockey equipment.  Then I whent down to the lake put on my skates and helped get the snow off the rink.  When we where finished doing that, we took some shots at a out house and then me, Ruth, Bjorn, Veronique, Katrina, Dad, Mom came down and past three pucks around. Ruth and Bjorn took some slap shots at the out-house.  Then my feet started to hert, they where cold so I told my mom I would go up to the house because my feet where cold.  So my mom came and helped me get my skates off.  That’s when I knowtist that my feet wher frostbiten!  So I whent up stars and put them in cold water to cool them down and that thoed them out. 

The End

Version 2

On Tuesday November 23^rd, first I gathered all of my hockey equipment.  Then I went down to the lake to put on my skates and helped get the snow off the rink.  When we were finished doing that, we took some shots at an outhouse; then Ruth, Bjorn, Katarina, Jess, Mom and Dad, Veronique and I played some hockey and passed around three pucks.  Soon my feet started to hurt, they were cold so I told my mom I would go up to the house because my feet were cold.  So my mom helped me get my skates off and then I noticed that my feet were frozen!  So I went up to the house and put them in cold water to thaw them out.

What would you rather read - the original version the way Karla wrote it, or version 2 with spelling and grammar corrected?  Tell us what you think by emailing: jbjorkman@vianet.ca

Karla D. Bjorkman